What is it about kids staring at you?

Normally I love it when kids stare at me. I take no issue with their unabashed, wide-eyed faces looking at me, trying to figure out what makes me tick, or whatever it is they are doing. Normally I am able to smile and wave just perfectly so as to illicit the perfect response. I get a giggle or a shy little grin, a returned wave or maybe even an attempt at conversation in whatever phase of verbal development the little tyke might be in.

Then I pat myself on the back, proud of the fact that kids like me. It's a good thing, it means something, like with dogs right? Kids and dogs are good judges of character.

Maybe that's why it's so uncomfortable when the child just stares, and responds to none of your actions by doing anything more than continuing to stare. As though you are crazy or something. As though they really don't get you and are wondering "What the hell is going over there?"

Come on kid, it's not as though four-and-a-half thousand other people in here aren't screaming like zealots with me.Just turn around, look at the ice and scream your head off too. Don't you know that sporting events are one of the few remaining public intimacies? Intimate events are meant to be shared at an excited and climactic volume.

Maybe it's because I'm such a small woman. Her dad screaming like a madman next to her seems apropos, but the crazy lady behind her, not so much.

The staring is cute at first, I find myself fascinated. But then I find myself disconcerted, and unable to concentrate on what I really want to concentrate on. All I can see, even if I'm pretending to now ignore said child, is her penetrating eyes staring back at me.

Somebody teach that kid to smile or wave back when they are smiled at. Or teach them to stop staring and root for the home team.

I'm not talking from experience though, really. I don't know what you're talking about...

This weekend is military appreciation at the Aces games. Tonight during the first intermission the Vietnam Vets Harley club hosted a fallen soldiers ceremony. Several participants were recent purple heart recipients from various Alaskan branches of the military.

As I sat watching this ceremony welcoming home those who have recently "served" in Iraq...and to honor those who have died, not just in this most recent "conflict" but in all previous American conflicts, I found myself repeatedly uncomfortable. Trapped, trying to reconcile two very disparate feelings.

On the one hand, I do not support the cause for which these newly returned men and women have been sent so far from home. I don't even really support the idea of the military or its overwhelming power and resource consumption (especially in this country.) Yet, I recognize the "need," at least at present day, for the armed forces to exist. More than that though, I have trouble reconciling my distaste for such a militaristic display and the fact that so many in the audience with which I sat so clearly support and embrace it, with my need to honor and respect those who have died and show compassion for those they have left behind.

I can't figure out if these most recent deaths are made all the more tragic by the fact that they were for a "cause" I find so repugnant. At least in (some) other/previous wars the causes were noble and the people who felt they were defending freedom may really have been.

I struggle with this and realize that these issues might be the sort of which I am bound to struggle with more as I see my youngest brother so excelling in his JROTC program and recognize that he may see the military as a quality choice for his future. It's made all the more difficult by the fact that I know following such a path might be one of the few things that helps him to climb out of the cycles that our family seem to get caught in. But, I fear for him in that...in all the ways that any family member would...but also I fear him becoming something or someone I am ideologically opposed to.

I know it isn't a guarantee that this will happen. I need only to look at my Uncle Brian, one of the people for whom I have always had the most respect, and his military career to know that it can serve my brother well without turning him into the "wrong" (in my eyes) kind of person. But my uncle enlisted and served most of his career during very different times...

Back at Sully

Last night hockey began again here in Anchorage, at least pre-season ECHL hockey. The Aces hosted the Texas Wildcatters, and while it was thrilling to be back in my seats and seeing a little hockey (even if it was on pink ice) the game left somethings to be desired. Chief amongst them, a win.

As I walked into the arena my chest filled with excitement. As I sat in my seat and they lowered the house lights preparing to introduce the teams my skin started to tingle. Fanatic? Maybe it's true, but it sure does make the winter pass more quickly...

With Chris Beckford-Tseu in net, the Aces still went down 5-3. That's incredible considering that in the last two seasons, at the ECHL level, Becford-Tseu has posted save percentages of .929 and .950. Though he lost last night, he has still never lost a regular season game in Sullivan Arena.

Special teams need work. We went only one for ten on the power play, and allowed Texas a short-handed goal. But, there were upsides. Both fights were great, I especially liked seeing new guy Miller give it to

Blah

I'm in a really terrible mood. I'm not sure when it happened. I was in a fine mood earlier today. But after leaving my Applied Anthropology class I discovered as I was talking to various people that I am just feeling very bitchy and blah.

Currently I'm kind of planning on skipping the hockey class I have in half an hour. I have no good reason except that I just don't feel like going. I really enjoy the second half of class when we scrimmage (even though I am not AT ALL good, it's fun.) But I don't really enjoy the skills drills at all. I am easily the worst person in the class. Kelly G. might argue with me on that fact about which one of us gets the honor, but I think it's me. I'm slow, and not picking up the skills nearly as quickly as everyone else.

I should just practice more between class, but it is harder to motivate myself to do when it's walking over to skate inside stinky WFSC and not going out to Westchester or something like that.

I want to be good, or at least adequate, at skating and playing so that I can play on a rec team. That's why I signed up for the class, so I should go and practice, right?
But, I have far too big an ego and I'm way too competitive for my own good. That's really my problem.

I do not like being bad at things. I especially don't like being abysmal at things. And even more specifically, I am way too concerned about being a "girl." I HATE being bad at things that girls are stereotypically bad at, like sports.

I have always felt as though, based on my personality and interests, sports are things at which I should be good. But, generally, they just aren't. Generally, I throw like a girl, and that translates into most of my other athletic endeavors too. Sometimes I blame it on lack of exposure as a child...and maybe that's it. But maybe it is just that I lack that kind of aptitude and don't want to admit it.

So, instead of sucking up the pride and practicing so I can actually gain some skill, what do I feel like doing? I feel like quitting so it isn't so painfully obvious how much I suck.

Right now I'm working on talking myself into going to class today (if for no other reason that so Kelly doesn't hate me!) and out of dropping the class all together.

But, with my general mood right now...I don't know how effective that is going to be.

Moving on up!

After spending the 2004-2005 playing for the Alaska Aces, usually on the same line as Scott Gomez, Chris Minard got promoted to the AHL Albany River Rats for the 2005-2006 season...but returned to us for the Kelly Cup run (and victory) when Albany was eliminated early in their playoff run.

He spent this last season playing in the AHL for the Lowell Devils....and the news came in today-- the PITTSBURGH PENGUINS have signed him to a two year deal!

Now, I recognize that there is a strong possibility Chris will just end up playing for Penguin's AHL affiliates, the Wiles Barre Penguins. But what if...?

What I should cop to is that I was one of the few detractors Chris had while he played here. It wasn't that I didn't like him, I thought he was great to watch. But I wasn't convinced that the magic we were seeing come from him wasn't just as a result of being placed on the same line as an amazing forward who knows how to set a guy up for a great shot on goal.

That year I was much more impressed with Charles Linglet, who remains one of my all time favorite players-- even if we did trade him to the dreaded Las Vegas Wranglers. But Minard proved himself in the two seasons that have followed...both at the ECHL level and the AHL level.

I hope he gets the chance to really prove himself at the next level!

In other hockey news...tonight was the SEHL (summer elite hockey league...basically the highest level of play in the local men's rec league) all star game. One thing that is great about Anchorage, and the sports "stars" we help to create is that those guys don't seem to forget their roots.

It is not uncommon during the SEHL season to see guys that have been playing for the Aces, UAA and elite colleges around the country to be playing on the same teams as some up and coming kids from local high schools. Even more exciting is that it is not uncommon for our hometown NHL boys to make an appearance either.

Matt Carle is on the roster for the Titan Bombers this sumer...Tonight we got to see Scotty Gomez...(but I really enjoyed seeing Kimbi Daniels and the Big Rig (Cam Keith!))

It's a fun time. And it's great to see that Alaska remains an important part of people's lives even once they hit the various levels of the big time. (even if Jewel gave it up... hockey players are cooler than pop starts anyway.)

Free Agent No More

In case anyone is interested, but hasn't managed to hear...only hours after officially becoming a free agent Scott Gomez has signed a 7 year deal with the NY Rangers for $51.5 million.

I can't decide if I'm sad to see him leave the Devils, who I am a big fan of...or excited to see him join the Rangers...who I'm also a big fan of.

It will probably be a good opportunity for him to develop his offensive skills to an even higher level...so it will be interesting to watch.

Hopefully we'll see a 2008 Stanley Cup for the Rangers and then it will come back to Anchorage!